BOLLYWOOD NEEDS MORE SHIT HAPPENING!

The much-awaited, much-hyped, much-talked about film from Aamir Khan Productions hit the screen on the first of this month. I finally got around to watching it by the end of this month. As they say, ‘better late than never…’

I had been hearing a lot about Delhi Belly from my friends. They all loved it; claimed it to be a total entertainer; a stress-buster. But I had my own reasons to watch this film.

a) An Aamir Khan Production

b) An Imran Khan film

c) The trailer did look confusing but intriguing

So finally on a lazy Sunday morning I decided to forsake sleep and go catch the first show of the day; not to mention the only show of the day.

To see the theatre full on a Sunday morning in Gold Class was quite encouraging. The lights went out and the film began.

Caution: this film is not meant for children and when I say that I don’t just mean that it is an adult film. I also mean that if you are planning to spend a day with your parents and treat them to a film, Delhi Belly should be an unlikely choice.

I have to confess that the film did have its light moments, at times even hilarious moments. It is not a clever comedy; it is a light entertainer. Please do not expect to find some profound insight into life while watching this film.

This is the story of three men, whom in the present day lingo we would define as losers. One is stuck in a loveless engagement, another is stuck in a mindless job and the third is just stuck! And they all land up being on the hit-list of a smuggler. Heard that story line before? Of course, you have! With all due respect Mr. Khan, as opposed to your claims, I can count a few other films that have the similar plot line – three losers running for their lives from a goon, end up realizing that they have been wasting their lives by meeting other peoples’ expectations and it is about time that they start living their own dreams.

Although it tried to be a multi-protagonist film, the focus was on Imran Khan. But the guy with the ‘delhi belly’ was Kunal Roy Kapur (remember the cry baby from Just Mohabbat!). So far so good! I don’t mind the protagonist’s friend suffering because he had tandoori chicken in a shady galli of Delhi. But I do mind when the entire act is turned into a farce and is used for nothing more than extending the humour and giving some extra time to the cute boy (read Imran Khan). The third friend, Vir Das (or the famous Indian stand-up comedian) simply seems to be stuck in the situation due to no fault of his own. Yes, you could say that it happens to all of us. We do get stuck in situations due to no fault of ours. But please, when you are watching a film that claims to be a entertainer and not a life-lesson, you don’t want to watch life happening on screen. Amongst all the mess, Poorna Jagannathan (this is her first Bollywood appearance) deserves a mention for pulling off her small screen role with a lot of style and panache.

Overall, a lot of threads started and ended without any rhyme or reason. Many characters and situations were nothing more than props. I am sure that Aamir Khan Productions could have found a better use for all those props.

Yet, I have to credit Aamir Khan Productions for two things:

1. Taking the risk to move away from family entertainers and social message films and making a youth-oriented, no-inhibitions film; and
2. Not promoting the film through Aamir Khan’s item number; instead marketing it based on the characters and the story.

In case, you are in the mood for a film that is not run-of-the-mill Bollywood, do go and watch Delhi Belly. If only we could have a few more bold films from our Hindi Film Industry and not pretentious super-heroes!

DEATHLY HALLOWS INDEED!

The hype was tremendous; the wait was long – a journey that began in 2001 was coming to an end after a decade. The Boy Who Lived was to face his arch-enemy, He Who Must Not Be Named.

I had already made the plans. I was to watch this grand finale with my brother. Calling him a Harry Potter fan would be an understatement, he is the living Harry Potter encyclopaedia. The date was set, the time was fixed, and the long queues had been tolerated and jumped to possess those two prized tickets before the screen flashed House-Full…OK! So the last bit just sounded dramatic; getting the tickets wasn’t such a task, just required an advance booking.

The moment finally arrived.

What a bummer! You are directly plonked into the middle of an on-going journey. If you have not read the books, you would have no clue what happened and why were you forced to witness a montage that was making no sense. Moreover, if you have not seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, please do not bother to go for Part 2. The director did not feel the need to provide any introduction or connecting threads so that the parents, who had been tortured, blackmailed and threatened by their children to be taken for the final film, would not sit there in the darkness wondering why were they wasting two precious hours of their lives and spending their hard-earned money on buckets of popcorn and ice-filled cold-drinks.

A usual argument for many is that when a book gets adapted to screen, many details and parts need to be modified and edited for the visual medium. So I shall refrain from comparing the book by J.K. Rowling, which was a far more satisfying end to the series, and the film by David Yates, which left a lot to be expected.

For starters, here is a film that sends three teenagers on a life-threatening journey to track Horcruxes and destroy them in order to kill the arch-enemy of mankind, Lord Voldemort. So we have a host of characters, humans and ghosts, who are aware of the happenings and the locations and possess some secret knowledge but every one decides to stay mum till the last moment. Why? So that Harry Potter can be the hero. But was he really the hero? Neville Longbotttom, a non-entity and an unwanted side-kick to Harry through the last seven films; turns into a hero overnight. He is suddenly the leader of the group in Harry’s absence. It is Neville, not Harry, who kills Nagini, Voldemort’s pet snake and the last Horcrux.

I was always under the impression that Parseltongue (the ability to talk to snakes) was a special gift and not everyone was privy to it. Guess I was wrong! It was left to Ron to imitate Harry’s words that he had heard Harry speak in his sleep. Wonder how Ron understood Harry’s words and knew exactly what to repeat when down in the Chamber of Secrets?

Every source of film review boasted that here was finally a film that gave a lot of importance to the teachers and their individual powers. As I always felt that the teachers were grossly under-utilized in the films, this was an uplifting piece of news. Alas! Once again I was duped. The teachers had no more to do than they had in any of the other films. There is only one substantial scene where they all come together to protect Hogwarts and the scene does not last for more than two to three minutes in screen time. And suddenly the good turn in to the bad and are beyond judgement. Professor McGonagall, the ideal teacher, a guardian to the school rules, a protector of the students, sends the Slytherins to the dungeons. Ouch!

Lot of focus on Bellatrix Lestrange but a brilliant actress like Hellena Bonham Carter who was recently applauded for her performance in The King’s Speech is completely wasted in the film. She does not do much beyond looking dazed, scared and loony. The only substantial place for her to perform is when Hermione turns into Bellatrix and enters Gringotts Wizarding Bank. Rest is nothing to write home about.

Even after you have survived all of this, you possibly can’t survive the two sudden outbursts of testosterone when Ron and Hermione kiss in the Chamber of Secrets after destroying a Horcrux and Harry and Ginny kiss on the stairs when the entire school is falling apart around them. As if that was the only way to make the audience believe that these two pairs were actually couples. And if you are still not convinced then you have Ron running after Malfoy, Goyle and an unknown black boy shouting, “That’s my girlfriend you attacked, you nitiwts!” Funny, you say! Maybe, if you tickle me with hard!

What interests me most is the secret to young age that Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Malfoy hold? The movie takes a 19 year leap when Ron and Hermione are sending their daughter to school and Harry and Ginny are there to see off their son. The director and the make-up artists did not feel the need to give any of these characters an older look. I wish switching from baggy jeans into a suit and from a sweat shirt into a dress really made you look 36. But the mirror on the wall does not lie. They do not look 36, no matter how hard they try. The casting director would have done better to look for mature actors to play the parts.

By now you must be wondering if there is anything uplifting about the film. There is, my dear friends! All is not lost; not yet. The film makes all possible use of technology to bring the wizard world and the mayhem alive. Ralph Fiennes as Lord Voldemort does complete justice to his role. Last but not the least, the film provides a lot of junior artists an employment opportunity.

All credit goes to the marketing team of Harry Potter for creating trailers and publicity material that actually got the film more eyeballs and mind space than it deserves.

The most awaited film of the Harry Potter series is making money based on all the hype but it fails to meet expectations. If you still want to experience the ‘saga’, a small word of advice – wait till they telecast it on Pogo or HBO (which should be soon)!

VISUALTHEQUE PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB

For all those who want to view the world through their lens, learn from the past and present masters and believe in the adage, ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’; VISUALTHEQUE has put together the VISUALTHEQUE PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB.

It is not just a place for serious photographers who want to turn their passion into their profession but also for those for whom the camera is a tool to capture timeless moments. Above all, it is a place for like-minded people to shoot, discuss, debate and agree to disagree regarding one of their favourite mediums of communication.

The first trip was to the immortal Kumortuli and the fun has just begun.

For more details, please contact VISUALTHEQUE so that you can be a part of the next heritage walk.