Why Didn't You Ask ME?

I know the title would remind some of you of Agatha Christie's Why Didn't They Ask Evans? But honestly, how many times have you felt that you were at the receiving end of a misunderstanding? How many times were you hurt by the same people who claimed to know and understand you the best? How many times have you felt like screaming aloud, "Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you ask me, once? Why did you judge me? Why did you not give me a chance to explain?"

I know, I have, on a lot of different occasions. 

Some of these memories jump to the forefront without any effort, some of them just could not be erased.

Occasion 1: Beginning of my career, my first job. I get a promotion and raise on completing a year with the publication. And I noticed behavior changing all around me. At first I ignored it. And then I heard it. Rumour had it that I had slept with my boss for that promotion. And everyone who had appreciated my writing and hardwork over the year, decided to believe the rumour than believe in my capabilities. But not one person had the guts to mock me in my face; let alone ask me the truth. I had worked hard for that promotion but all appreciation became backbiting in the face of a rumour and people's habit of following the mob.

Occasion 2: A dear friend decided to ignore all calls and then, finally, take the call and abuse me without giving me a chance to speak. He called our friendship nothing more than a one night stand and something purely based on lust. But when the 'one night stand' was happening, I was the only one present in his life, or so he claimed. He chose to believe his better half on two different occasions and misbehaved with me. You could say that he did what any person would do. We all give our partners more importance than anyone else. But why not have the courage to face me? Why shut me out, based on a misunderstanding and some assumptions? Why didn't he give me a chance to explain? And all this, after he claimed to be my best friend; after he claimed to understand me without any 'footnotes'.

Occasion 3: Another friend decided to severe all ties because she assumed that I did not need her any more. She felt left out. But she never bothered to bring it up even once. She never bothered to speak to me. She never had the courage to shake me by the shoulder and say, "Why didn't you call me? Why was I left out?"

If I really put my mind to it, I can come up with more similar examples. But these two should be enough to remind you of all the times when you wished that you were not shut out or punished for no mistake of your own. You wished that the people who claimed to be protective of you, did not abandon you.

I have tried to think about this time and again. But I fail to understand the reason for this indifference that people live in. When it is so easy to clarify certain facts then why do we choose to live in utter blindness? After all, how blissful can ignorance be?

And this ignorance surrounds us all the time. I have been receiving email/whatsapp/twitter/FB messages about how Oprah Winfrey asked Tommy Hilfiger to leave her show when he affirmed that he had said, "If i'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I would not have made them so nice. I wish these people would not buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."

I thought this rumour was long dead, or, at least, should have been post Tommy Hilfiger's first, and real, appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show to clarify that this so-called interview never took place. Each message I receive asks me to forward it to more people so that everyone can boycott the 'racist' Tommy Hilfiger. 

But for everyone, who was using technology to spread the word, was it so difficult to take a minute and YouTube the interview? If even a single one of them would have bothered o utilize technology, then they would have seen Tommy Hilfiger's real interview on Oprah Winfrey show. They would have realized that by blindly forwarding a message, they are not harming the huge business empire as much, as they are harming a man's reputation in society and, most of all, in the eyes of his near and dear ones. I am sure, Hilfiger's children did not enjoy being at the receiving end of a media rumour and frenzy. This is not the kind of attention any one would want; not even for the sake of publicity.

Another recent forward has given Chinese whisper a new meaning. British Airways has been accused of racial behavior on different occasions. I have met people who have their own bone of contention to pick with the airline. But to turn an advertisement into a real-life incident that occurred on the flight, takes ignorance to a whole new level. A Portuguese anti-racism ad was commissioned by the Portuguese Commission on the 50th anniversary of  the universal declaration of human rights. But with time, this ad has taken the shape of a real incident aboard a British Airways flight in people's mind.

Conveniently people are forwarding these messages and 'planning a boycott' against Tommy Hilfiger and British Airways, without giving the consequences a second thought.

Is this what our education has prepared us for? Is this the kind of ignorance we want to pass on to our children as legacy? Have we lost all sensibility? Do we again need scholars across the globe to tell us, "Do not blindly follow what I say, test it."? Why have become so careless?

We travel the globe, increase the number of degrees and job profiles on our resume, increase the number of friends of Facebook, but we conveniently keep our brain locked away in a small glass jar where it will never find any scope of expansion. We teach our children theories of humanity but ourselves practice our animal instincts. We preach equality but do not believe giving an equal chance. We speak of making informed choices but gloat about misinformed opinions.

Why else would my friends never give me a chance to speak? Why else did they decide to shut me out and cut me off as if I never existed?

I do hope that their ignorance proves to be blissful.

Total Siyappa - A Missed Opportunity

Enough has been said and done on celluloid about the never-ending Indo-Pak differences. It has long been a favourite subject of filmmakers. But, of late, filmmakers have decided to move away from the serious subject of wars and take a more human look at the 'frenemies'.

Following the subtle, but hard-hitting depiction of Indo-Pak soldiers on the border in War Chhod Na Yaar, Bollywood is back with Total Siyappa, the story of Aman, a Pakistani boy, and Aisha, an Indian girl, who wish to get married. And this is exactly where the interesting bit begins and ends.

What could have been a humourous look at the whole subject of similarities between the two countries, irrespective of the political and geographical lines, becomes a slapstick at best. 

Total Siyappa begins on a promising note when a mere joke about 'bomb' by Aman triggers a scare and subsequent arrest. After a brief stay at the police station, the couple are all set to meet Aisha's family. And you are all set to go on a ride of culture differences when Aisha's brother walks into the house cursing Pakistanis, with no knowledge of Aman's nationality.

But hereon the film fails to impress. It becomes another attempt of promoting Ali Zafar's almost non-existent acting skills and his status as a musician. Anupam Kher and Kirron Kher are completely wasted in this scene by scene remake of the Spanish-Argentinian film, Only Human. With the power couple pairing on screen for the first time, the director, at best, gives them five minutes together on screen with nothing much to do.

Two dull instances of dialogues about Indians and Pakistanis being similar and a Rowan Atkinson lookalike trying to pull-off a Mr. Bean, don't to much to save this sinking ship. Come to think of it, the trailer and the poster are funnier than the film itself.

Released between the Madhuri Dixit-Juhi Chawla starrer Gulab Gang and Kangana Ranaut's Queen, Total Siyappa surprisingly managed to get enough people to the theatre to almost reach house full. If only the makers had put in a little more effort in the making, they could have ensured that people stayed till the end of the film.

Total Siyappa is what I'd call there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip.

Pink is the new black

Of late critics and I have stopped agreeing to each other all together. Of course, the instances of agreement were few and far between. But we have now mutually decided to part ways forever and lead our own lives.

This Sunday was dedicated to Gulab Gang. When you have Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla in the same screen space for the first time, all the controversy about whether the movie is based on the real-life Gulabi Gang, and comparisons with the recent documentary, Gulabi Gang, one watch is a must.

So there I was on a Sunday morning for my dose of women empowerment. 

Let me say this at the very outset, no matter how many disclaimers go up before the movie begins to avoid legal hassles, the similarities are too 'coincidental' to believe that Gulab Gang has nothing to do with Gulabi Gang and Madhuri Dixit is not on-screen Sampat Pal.

Moving on from the similarities, Gulab Gang is definitely worth a watch to see Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chawla share the screen. Dixit, as the village belle turned rebel, and Chawla, as the cold, corrupt politician, make for formidable adversaries. It is delightful to see Chawla wielding her sweet smile but for a bad cause. But a lot is left unexplored once the rivalry becomes predictable and a game of tit-for-tat, with each group killing members of the other group left, right, & center.

I, personally, prefer the fictionalized version of Sampat Pal to the documentary because it touches on the reasons for the gang and the problems faced by them in more detail than the documentary. The reasons, definitely, needed a little more time to make an impact. Rajjo's (Dixit's character) fight for education and Sumitra Devi's (Chawla's character) battle to have complete control in a man's world are not very different from each other, although their methods vary.

Certain scenes would leave the audience cringing and feminists and human rights activists bawling. But that is expected to happen when a man deals with a woman empowerment film.

The climax is a tribute to the iconic climax of Mirch Masala, right from the red gulal (red chillie powder in the original) to the farmer's sickle. And a very clever presence of a foreigner lady documenting the entire event could be treated as a reference to Kim Longinotto's documentation of the Gulabi Gang.

For all the people rooting for Gulab Gang to be a misrepresentation of the real Gulabi Gang's works, I'd say the documentary never shows us the extent to which the real gang would go to provide justice and fight for its causes. Maybe the real Gulabi Gang could pull a few tricks from the Gulab Gang bag. After all, life imitates art imitates life.

Stories To Be Told

So this might be coming a little late, but it had to be done. The recent release, Gulabi Gang, has triggered conversations about the importance and need for documentary films.

Documentary films are fast coming up as a competition and threat to the world of fiction films. But, forgive the cheesiness, it sounds like brothers fighting. Films are a powerful medium of communication. It has more takers than books and has a longer lasting impact. And, yet we are fighting to prove one form of film making to be better than the other. Whatever happened to free will?

Case in point, the recent Gulabi Gang is not the first documentary to be shot on the women's group fighting for women's rights in their area. Kim Longinotto directed a documentary on the same subject called Pink Sarees in 2010. And yet, Gulabi Gang is definitely a bold attempt on the Indian screen and soil.

Following a murder case, it portrays the life that women are pushed to live in Bundelkhand, Uttar Pradesh. And this is where a lot is left unanswered. A group of women are fighting to give the right to live an honourable life to other women of the area. But we never get to know how they survived their society and the men.

Sampat Pal leads the group from one village to another, helping women to find their dignity in a place where killing a woman is as easy as swatting a fly. This raises the question of her safety and survival. How did she manage to escape and form this group? How did she find support in other women when the sister of a dead girl is ready to protect the family than fight for justice? Why was she or any other member of her group not kidnapped and killed in the dead of the night? To sum it all, how did Gulabi Gang survive?

In an effort the show their work, the makers forgot to show us their base. In that it does not provide me anything different from a fiction film except the real characters and places. 

This is what brings me back to the thought that it is not about fighting an internal battle. It is not about proving whether documentaries are better than fiction. It is about telling a compelling story through the medium of audio-visual and letting it find its own audience.

It is about time that films and film makers take the route of books. All kinds of books are released in a bookstore. It is the reader who decides what to buy instead of the authors trying to breath down their necks.

Try to tell a story well and people will listen.