Quit Playing Games With My Life!

Mind, thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions – change, alter, fade away, disappear, reappear – make you smile, make you cry, make you think, make you contemplate, make you scared, make you confident – fill you, tear you apart, creep on you, grow on you, shake you, build you – you go into a shell, you break all rules, you make your own path, you erase your existence.

The human mind is considered the greatest creation of God – the human heart is his most complicated. Always changing, always leading, and always making the mind believe that it is the ruler but instead making all the rules. But what or rather who rules the heart? People? Emotions? Situations? Circumstances? Or does it hear the tune of a different piper – a piper whom only he recognizes and follows.

In moments of emotions it is said that one should always follow the heart. But where does the heart lead? Where does that dark road lead? Is it alright to walk that uncharted path? All great men claim to have walked that uncharted path; listened to their heart. Then how does it remain uncharted? Many before me have walked down that lane; many after me would too. It is no longer uncharted. And yet, every time my heart makes me believe that no one before me has walked that road.

Reminds me of the song ‘Quit playing games with my heart.’ I’d alter it and tell my heart ‘Quit playing games with my life.’ Stop telling me that I am the only genius who thought of this idea. You know that you are lying. You know that it would be painful for me. And yet, you want me to walk down this lane.

And I am stupid enough to fall for the trap. I walk that road, embrace that struggle and fool myself that I am a hero.

No, I am not a hero! I am no hero. I am an ordinary person who, like many others, is taking the path that sounds more romantic only because I want to feel that romantic.

I would much rather run away from the pain. But then that would make me an escapist. 

This means that either ways I am stuck. Being labelled a romantic sounds beautiful but is painful. Being labelled an escapist sounds painful and is painful. Either ways I’m headed for pain and all thanks to my heart. It just made sure that I remain confused all my life. But it also made sure that I can never follow anyone else.

When I know all these facts then why can’t I break away and tell my heart to go take a hike? Because it has left my mind numb and I am too scared to take all the responsibilities alone. It is always easier to blame someone else – in this case the heart and its charming ways.

Oh! What a charmer the heart is? Responsible for everything – good, bad and ugly – and yet never gets blamed, never faces the music and always, always receives the crown.