Why Didn't You Ask ME?

I know the title would remind some of you of Agatha Christie's Why Didn't They Ask Evans? But honestly, how many times have you felt that you were at the receiving end of a misunderstanding? How many times were you hurt by the same people who claimed to know and understand you the best? How many times have you felt like screaming aloud, "Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you ask me, once? Why did you judge me? Why did you not give me a chance to explain?"

I know, I have, on a lot of different occasions. 

Some of these memories jump to the forefront without any effort, some of them just could not be erased.

Occasion 1: Beginning of my career, my first job. I get a promotion and raise on completing a year with the publication. And I noticed behavior changing all around me. At first I ignored it. And then I heard it. Rumour had it that I had slept with my boss for that promotion. And everyone who had appreciated my writing and hardwork over the year, decided to believe the rumour than believe in my capabilities. But not one person had the guts to mock me in my face; let alone ask me the truth. I had worked hard for that promotion but all appreciation became backbiting in the face of a rumour and people's habit of following the mob.

Occasion 2: A dear friend decided to ignore all calls and then, finally, take the call and abuse me without giving me a chance to speak. He called our friendship nothing more than a one night stand and something purely based on lust. But when the 'one night stand' was happening, I was the only one present in his life, or so he claimed. He chose to believe his better half on two different occasions and misbehaved with me. You could say that he did what any person would do. We all give our partners more importance than anyone else. But why not have the courage to face me? Why shut me out, based on a misunderstanding and some assumptions? Why didn't he give me a chance to explain? And all this, after he claimed to be my best friend; after he claimed to understand me without any 'footnotes'.

Occasion 3: Another friend decided to severe all ties because she assumed that I did not need her any more. She felt left out. But she never bothered to bring it up even once. She never bothered to speak to me. She never had the courage to shake me by the shoulder and say, "Why didn't you call me? Why was I left out?"

If I really put my mind to it, I can come up with more similar examples. But these two should be enough to remind you of all the times when you wished that you were not shut out or punished for no mistake of your own. You wished that the people who claimed to be protective of you, did not abandon you.

I have tried to think about this time and again. But I fail to understand the reason for this indifference that people live in. When it is so easy to clarify certain facts then why do we choose to live in utter blindness? After all, how blissful can ignorance be?

And this ignorance surrounds us all the time. I have been receiving email/whatsapp/twitter/FB messages about how Oprah Winfrey asked Tommy Hilfiger to leave her show when he affirmed that he had said, "If i'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I would not have made them so nice. I wish these people would not buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."

I thought this rumour was long dead, or, at least, should have been post Tommy Hilfiger's first, and real, appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show to clarify that this so-called interview never took place. Each message I receive asks me to forward it to more people so that everyone can boycott the 'racist' Tommy Hilfiger. 

But for everyone, who was using technology to spread the word, was it so difficult to take a minute and YouTube the interview? If even a single one of them would have bothered o utilize technology, then they would have seen Tommy Hilfiger's real interview on Oprah Winfrey show. They would have realized that by blindly forwarding a message, they are not harming the huge business empire as much, as they are harming a man's reputation in society and, most of all, in the eyes of his near and dear ones. I am sure, Hilfiger's children did not enjoy being at the receiving end of a media rumour and frenzy. This is not the kind of attention any one would want; not even for the sake of publicity.

Another recent forward has given Chinese whisper a new meaning. British Airways has been accused of racial behavior on different occasions. I have met people who have their own bone of contention to pick with the airline. But to turn an advertisement into a real-life incident that occurred on the flight, takes ignorance to a whole new level. A Portuguese anti-racism ad was commissioned by the Portuguese Commission on the 50th anniversary of  the universal declaration of human rights. But with time, this ad has taken the shape of a real incident aboard a British Airways flight in people's mind.

Conveniently people are forwarding these messages and 'planning a boycott' against Tommy Hilfiger and British Airways, without giving the consequences a second thought.

Is this what our education has prepared us for? Is this the kind of ignorance we want to pass on to our children as legacy? Have we lost all sensibility? Do we again need scholars across the globe to tell us, "Do not blindly follow what I say, test it."? Why have become so careless?

We travel the globe, increase the number of degrees and job profiles on our resume, increase the number of friends of Facebook, but we conveniently keep our brain locked away in a small glass jar where it will never find any scope of expansion. We teach our children theories of humanity but ourselves practice our animal instincts. We preach equality but do not believe giving an equal chance. We speak of making informed choices but gloat about misinformed opinions.

Why else would my friends never give me a chance to speak? Why else did they decide to shut me out and cut me off as if I never existed?

I do hope that their ignorance proves to be blissful.