My better half is a complete mamma's boy. No one can match up to his mother. No can cook like his mother. Or take care of him and the house. Or be as good at everything as is not humanly possible. Mamma, mamma & mamma...all the time.
Heard that before? Of course, you have. It's your voice, and that of your mother, and your grandmother.
Through generations we women have complained how a mother has maximum control over her son; how even after a relationship or a marriage, the mother comes first. And yet, generations of us have forgotten this cribbing when our sons grew up and became the bad mother-in-law 'who keeps her son in control'.
But what is this constant cribbing all about? Is it about a power game or a demand for attention? Is it born of insecurity or love? The answer may be a little complicated.
Every wife/girlfriend desires undivided attention from her partner. And every mother demands undivided loyalty. Both have their own share of reasons. The wife/girlfriend argues that she is now the 'woman' in his life and knows what is best'. The mother argues that she has taken care of him for years and is best familiar with his needs. But in the process both forget that the man is not a trophy to be won. He is either your husband/boyfriend or your son; a living being who should be allowed the right to think & decide.
Men often get caught in this crossfire and end up taking sides. And, in the process, losing the other side. They would either spend days buying gifts for the wife or praising the mother's intelligence & culinary skills, just in order to achieve cease fire.
I am reminded of an episode of the popular sitcom, Sarabhai vs Sarabhai, where the son is caught between the mother & wife because they share their birthday and both wish to spend their day with their 'man'. In reality, the answer was as simple as a family dinner. In life, as well, the solutions are actually that simple, only if we wish to look for them.
I don't deny that there are times when the influence of once side can get overbearing, leading to unwanted circumstances. The wife can get so dominating that the son sends his mother to an old age home. Or the mother interferes to the extent where the son is forced to severe all ties with his lady-love. But in either cases, it is the man who has to take a stand, instead of cursing & cribbing all his life.
It also becomes the responsibility of women to not forget their complains and become a control freak, once the son is in a relationship, alongside teaching the son to respect a woman's space.
Cribbing, complaining & pointing fingers seems way more satisfying and easy when compared to the task of finding answers & solutions. But nobody said it would be easy; only it would be more permanent. So look for a few answers & remember to tell your sons about them.
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